The Oncologists Lecture

It's blood work every 3 months. Every 3 months I go back to the infusion center to have blood drawn. I handle it the same way every time. Realize the date is here, scurry out the door running late, obviously procrastinating, and then the dreaded thought rolls through my mind as I am driving there...."ew that dreaded place again, I so hope not to see any cancer patients". It hits me every single time. They drew blood on Thursday. There is always that scary fleeting thought 'I hope all is normal" The results are immediate and all is well. I had to see Dr Wilson for a chat. A funny guy, but he sure doesn't cut me much slack. He carefully went over my records talking about my Lynch Syndrome findings from Stanford Research. So apparantly I have another area to watch out for.....my bladder. Geez, just how many more areas in my body do I have to watch out for!??Lynch syndrome patients risk uerine, colon, stomach and now bladder cancer? What the hell is this?! He handed me a urine specimen cup. So now this is being watched. It all sucks big time. Stupid idiotic cancer.He told me I was extremely lucky-stage 3 colon cancer caught early-but it may have been caught earlier thus sparing me that disgusting chemotherapy if I had DNA testing years ago and went for the colonoscopy sooner. What the hell was I thinking? I'd do anything to turn back time and not have to live with these chemo nueropathy side effects, my daily reminder I had chemo.I just can't go there. I am so good at beating the heck out of myself, and I've been mulling it over ever since Thursdays appointment. Chaulk it up as a life experience is all i can do....what the hell else is there to do? Crap, I am so angry now.