The Wharf to Wharf race and all its meaning

I am so sore. My calves are stiff and my numb feet are as numb as ever, but I walked the race again. The Wharf to Wharf: from Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk wharf to the Capitola Wharf. This time it was with even more special friends....my childhood friend Marcia-and my cheerleader Cheryle.

Last July, 2 months afer surviving Uterine Cancer in May 2010 I walked. The anticipation when we started off was brewing, but as I passed under each balloon arch I knew I could do it. And when I crossed the finish line with my funny "Save the Va-Jay-Jay" shirt I cried. I was in disbelief...I was a cancer survivor! Little did I know that in August 2010 I would be diagnosed with Colon Cancer. Cheryle cheered me on saying we will go after the Wharf to Wharf in 2011 when my chemo was done. Scared for my feet, and scared to think I may have to call a cab-we did it anyway. Marcia, Cheryle and me!This time around I wore a "Cancer Vixen" bling studded shirt. I noticed the stares when people read it, what they didn't know was how incredibly grateful I was for being alive crossing that line. The pain of my numb feet was almost unbearable.I did this. It was huge. So today afterfinishing several voice overs I viewed the photos Marcia posted.....I am blessed. I am grateful, and I am still thanking God for my life today.

The upcoming tests

My ovarian cancer surviving buddy, Cindy,  said upcoming tests will be nerve wracking. I am already feelin the jitters. In one day I have both a Pap and Mam appointment...then it's the Colonoscopy.With that strong as hell chemo saturating my body-I must be clear-and will be for the rest of my living life.
I want my port removed. The noticeable bump on my chest is still uncomfortable to look at. Adam looks at it briefly and looks quickly away saying: "Mom you have to get that out". I can see how it pains him to look at it. The reminder of the whole journey. It was just too much for a 17 year old kid. I can't help but think what my brother Marty went through when he was as young and my Mom was battling her breast cancer. She was physically sick throwing up constantly and so weak, and he had to witness it all. I truly believe to this day at age 51,  he is traumatized by it all. Their minds can't comprehend healing, it is filled with fear that we will abandon them through death. I know when Adam heard the diagnosis of the 2nd cancer-colon-he just fell apart and rightfully so. He was so angry at God. So for him to look at the port with almost a look of disgust, I understand. So it's another procedure I must endure. The clock is ticking.
Thank you for my life today Jesus.

Damn Nuerapathy

I am not happy enduring this nueropathy. Numb fingers and toes and feet. It is wearing at me. I have to find some vitamin that I think is called: L- Glucemine.....
Now my memory goes...argh! Damn Chemo!
Apparantly people with Diabetes deal with this nuerapathy symptom. It is horrible. My Aunt Judy has it for the rest of her life and is trying acupuncture, and the acupuncturist says almighty water is a huge help. Water is the cure all for so much and I don't drink it nearly enough. I guess it's time to stop whining and do so.
I seem to be in on of those moods tonight....I can't wait for it to pass, because I sure don't like it...