The annual CT Scan

As I mix up the solution with the 16 ounces of water I think over and over again..."wow who would've thought"...It is the annual CT scan to make sure that nasty Cancer is nowhere to be seen in my body.When I finished all the chemo treatments last year, 2 months afterwards I had the scan and I thought over and over again ..."it damn well better be gone out of my body after enduring that chemical for 6 months". The havoc that chemo does to a body is just insane. You go from one side effect to the next...dry lips, dry skin, hair falling out, eye lashes falling out, no appetite, weight loss, and extreme fatigue, just feeling like hell...They have to come up with a cure for this crazy disease.
So I will drink another 16 ounces before I leave the house then they put me in the tube....I've been in the tube before...I can't remember which time, the first scan after the diagnosis or the scan after treatment ended. I remember the machine turning on and me slowly being sent through with tears streaming down my face, dripping onto the table, all the while thinking "what the hell am I doing here for this?!" So it is my annual, and I have to make the 5 years and then I guess I am free...but in the back of my mind I remember I have that DNA gene that Stanford research found "Lynch Syndrome" that predisposes me to cancers.....but I won't let it win, not ever.
So it's time to get ready, and I will not only think of what is ahead for me this morning, but think of my sweet childhood friend Cartla who gets hooked up today for her first 5 hour infusion for her cancer and really think SHE is the one who needs prayer and support. She doesn't deserve this, nobody deserves Cancer, it is unnecessary and needs to be cured.

Solace Yoga Studio VO

Love doing my voice overs, especially when it's about good things like healing our bodies. I just had to post this commercial I did. It reminds me of what voice overs did for me while going through chemo-it kept me sane and feeling like I was living, and it is my passion that keeps me going today. Be grateful for each day we are alive, because you never know when your life will take a dramatic twist.

Imagine

Wishing, hoping , feeling desperate, apparantly is not the way to get what I want.....Imagining me having it is the way to do it. Wayne Dyer...the guru on creating a wonderful life says that. He is right. I send off my voice over auditions with this pleading attitude..."please let me get it"...not the right way. According to Dyer and according to my wonderful cancer surviving friend...Julia. She busted me on it when we were wrapped up in one of our long winded philosophical conversations while drinking cocktails and listening to music in her front room...ha. It's our usual way of tackling the world.So I must change my thinking.....and trust God has me right where he wants me.  By believing I have it is really the type of woman he wants me to be anyway...faithful, positive, not panicked.  Sounds so easy, it's a matter of changing the old way of operating and consciously telling myself it is the way God wants me to behave...so I try once again....I completed quite a few voice overs today, did a great job on them, am grateful, and now I take it in...Imagine myself booking more......

Grateful for my craft

If there is one thing that keeps my sanity in this insane world of mine...it's my voice overs. I am so grateful I found my passion in life. I know how lucky I am..I know everyday when I get up in the morning, get Adam off to school, have my solitude and have my breakfast with the sweet aroma of my coffee brewing and me waiiting for the emailed scripts to arrive. Damn I am lucky. I forget about my chemo nueropathy, I forget about the cancer journey I had, I forget that our son will be leaving soon to go to college and I forget that I am not all that happy in my marriage. It pays to do what you love for work. It doesn't feel like work...I produced so many voice overs today...I am ultimately grateful to God that he lead me here.
All the f-upped Radio PDs that smirked when they let me go, and made me cry the whole way home, and for days afterwards. I spent weeks questioning who I was, and if I am worth anything outside Radio...those Radio blind sides by those Program Directors opened the door for me to be here...right here sitting in my home studio producing voice overs...I am blown away. I am grateful..... Thank you God for my life today!!!