Celebration of Life

I attended the American Cancer Society Celebration of Life tonight.;It was my 2nd time. The speakers were great, Oncologist, Nutritionist, Therapist and Hope Hospice Chaplain...last year I was only 3 months out of chemo with a first time clear CT scan, this year I am one year out of chemo with another CT scan that was clear. I am celebrating life and I hope to celebrate many more. Theydid the birthday countdown...have everyone stand in the room and then ask, who is cancer free less than a year, a full year, and so on and so on...then we sit down when our anniversary date of survival is acknowledged...and believe it or not there was a woman with 50 years of being cancer free... There is hope! There are survivors celebrating their lives more and more.It is truly amazing, and it takes the focus off the disease and turns it on those surviving. But I hold my breath each year to get past those tests. I can only take care of myself nutritionally, physically and spiritually. I learned more tonight and realized I cannot be lazy, I must stay mindful on what my body went through, and take care of Me...I feel as though I need to turn over a new leaf again...I need to celebrate everyday I am a cancer survivor...Praise God.....and to top the evening, I booked a voice over I pitched for....I am so grateful.

My Visits to Carla

So Adam graduated from high school last Friday, and we had a terrific party in our backyard on Sunday and now we are getting ready to start the college check off list....all part of life, all part of raising a child...and then there is all the other stuff in life...Success, failure, births, deaths, heartbreaks, love and Cancer. I visited Carla today at her chemo infusion appointment. Only my own cancer taught me this. I arrived and we laughed and talked and shared the journey. She expressed all the things I did...her fears, and ports, appetite changes,and hair falling out, waiting to end all the treatments so she can get back to normalcy...she asked me how soon after the chemo stopped did I feel good. it was great to reflect on that one...I was able to say, "almost immediately" How incredibly terific is that?!I do remember daily things were changing for the better. It was a blessing, and truly a gift from God. She is so sweet and has such a good attitude...but people said that about Me. What people don't know are the racing thoughts throughout the day or in the middle of the night laying in bed staring at the ceiling. It is all consuming....but all one can do is to love on the cancer patient, and let them talk and laugh and try to push through it all. Carla will push through. She is so vibrant and beautiful, I see no other ending for her story. I learn something from Carla everytime I see her. it is good for me to continue the visits. I'll be back to sit chairside in a few weeks and I can't wait to do it again. Thank you God for my life today, thank you God for Carla's life today.

We seem to understand more

Cancer patients seem to understand more...I have had 2 friends diagnosed with cancer and in the past 2 months one began her chemo for her stomach cancer and the other one lived only 21 days after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer...I immediately reached out. Sweet Carla, my childhood friend. Only God knew to have me out of the blue call her...and upon asking how are you she takes that deep breath and says "well I have stomach cancer"...I went into the mode. I understood what was up ahead for her,started telling her some good items to have around, and offered to sit with her during chemo infusion. She drives to Walnut Creek Kaiser from her home in St Helena! Her husband can only take so much and I knew...so I releived him one day and there I sat, watching the nurses chatting near her discussing what drugs she already had pumped into her body and which ones were waiting their turn...watching Carla be forgetful mid sentence-that's called chemo brain..I know that one all too well...and when she got up to go to the bathroom and rolled all her meds in their bags hung over the walker-I remembered it all again..The picture planted in my mind, was her turning around and looking at me as I was leaving and say so sincerely "thank you for coming to visit today". It just hit me. Stupid, nasty, awful cancer. And then there is Jeri. An incredibly bright ray of sunshine. Never married, was a Principal to Adam all during his elementary school years. I can still see her riding the donkeys in the gym for donkey basketball, and just laughing hysterically.The kids were her kids. They pulled the usual corporate bullcrap and demoted her to Kindergarten teaching. I visited her in her classroom, and saw how tired she was with the adjustment..but I related because of all my insane radio firings. I know what it feels like to be blindsided...and then received the school email saying they were making her Director of the Pre School. I emailed her as soon as I saw it and referred to her as "Girlfriend you so deserve this"...It was perfect, she now could be with the kids and back to administrative. She loved my note...but then May 8th the blanket email with her pancreatic cancer diagnosis. I was sickenend and so very sad. The Caring Bridge site was developed for her and I began witing her.A Godly woman with prayers all the time sent to her-but I somehow felt these people just didn't understand what was going on in her mind...and i addressed it in the lightest way writing all the time. But to hear she lost the battle in only 21 days I was shocked and so saddened. Numb by the news of cancer killing another person. It just is mind boggling. So Monday is jeris Memorial Service at the school and I will contact Carla to sit with her again, and I close with the disbelief that this disease has taken another one of my friends....somehow I can understand them so well.