A Cup of Coffee with Mom

I lost my Mom when she was 50 years old to Breast Cancer. She was first diagnosed at age 48. My Mom was well loved by many. What was most important to her were her kids and her girlfriends. She would spend a few hours, a few days a week, over her girlfriends homes having a cup of coffee with them. She was escaping my Father, who was a rager. It wasn't easy living in that house with that nonsense, thats why I always knew my Mom loved her girlfriends. I don't know how much she shared with them about my Dad. I wished I knew. I know she was in pain and there was a deep sadness in her about it all.I never had a chance to drink coffee with my Mom. I actually started drinking coffee in my late 30's.I immediately knew this was a ritual. For me,drinking coffee with girlfriends was a treat, it was my go to for a catch up conversation. I pop in the local coffee shops a few times a week to this day because I still see it as a treat, it's my self care. This weekend my husband, Jeff and I celebrated my childhood girlfriends son in law 50th birthday. It was a two hour drive from our house. The party was a blast that included a few of my childhood girlfriends who knew my Mom.The trek was too far to come back home so we stayed at a hotel in Vacaville. Vacaville was where my Mom was buried. Alongside her parents, my grandparents, whom she loved deeply.Vacaville was where I went as a kid to the Ranch with cherry trees, walnut trees, at a gorgeous farm house with antiques in every room. It's where my Mom would go as a child and ride horses, and sip tea and coffee with my great Aunty in the huge old fashioned kitchen.I had to go find my Mom today. I have only visited my Moms gravesite a few times. The last time was decades ago. I could only remember it was near a street on a sloped hill.The office was closed so we drove around and I got out with Me grasping my cup of coffee that I was sipping from our ride.I trekked around the cemetary quite a bit. I texted a cousin who has kept up on our family history, "where is my Moms gravesite?" My phone died as soon as I sent it. I just couldn't stop looking, I kept thinking I know I would be disappointed if I got back in the car without finding it. I wondered further, and then, I found it! I couldn't beleive my eyes. Her parents, Aunty, her dads brother and sister in law, and there was my Mom. There I was standing with my cup of coffee. I was in disbelief. I knew she wouldnt let me go until I found her. I had no flowers. My phone died and I needed to have that cup of coffee with her. Why not ? Jeff's phone was working so I kneeled down and told her thanks and took a big sip from my cup.There were no tears. I just smiled that I didn't give up looking. We celebrated a 50th birthday and my Mom died at 50. It was a bittersweet thought. Today I finally had a cup of coffee with my Mom.