The chemo diet

I grew up thinkng I was fat,my thighs were big, my calves were big, really that's about all. My father use to say some terrible things to me about my weight when he got mad..."fat ass and fatso" My Mom even slipped me amphetmines to make sure I "wasn't fat like her" it was nuts. Then I went onto every diet imaginable..the B shots, the Weight Watchers, The Atkins, the Beverly Hills diet..it was nuts.Thank goodness I didn't get into binge purging, it's a miracle, really it is. I would rant with Julia whom I lived with after college, and would say in our drunken stupors.."I'm going to weigh 109!"......well Iv'e done it with chemo...I stepped on the scale at the infusion center on Friday and there before my eyes was not 109, but 107. The fricking chemo diet...I don't like the taste of foods it all tastes like paste.  I go to bed hungry and wake up swearing I will eat better.How can this drug do this to me? I have 3 more to go, Lord knows if my weight will drop more. My skinny jeans are baggy jeans..I am fatigued and just want to stay in bed...but I must go further, I am only stage 1..it is all to save my life.  It's all for Adam, it's for family and dear freinds...I will perservere....Screw you Cancer!