I did it! I made number 9 chemo treatment...my mind has been playing tricks on me from day one..I procrastinate, I tell the oncologist how much I dislike this, but with prayer, and friends and family I have perservered...my blood count was up so I did number 9 infusion..I brought my Ipod by the request from my 15 year breast cancer surviving buddy, Julia, who told me to do that. Of course I dialed up Boz music, and I napped while enjoying his beautiful voice.Conversing with the chemo patients always makes me come home and cry. Although I did chat a bit with an elderly man who had colon cancer too, he was funny and so real, asking me "so how long do you have to go through this crap?"I laughed...Jeff dropped in on me at the end because I drove myself...crazy, I know..but I have such a hard time asking people to take time out of their lives to drive me there...I actually did okay driving home alone..I went in praying, I had heard a message at my rockin church about how God has a far sighted view of my preservation and he is in control, just acknowledge he is taking care of me, and ask only... "if you will, can you heal me?"....It was hard to do, as I beg often to get this and that in my life.
So I have my pump that pumps chemo in my body every 2 minutes for 36 hours on me until Wednesday, then Thursday Friday and Monday I have shots again for my white blood cells...this is still so surreal to me....sometimes I want to yell at God...but it's inherited...maybe I should yell at my Father for passing this down to me...I don't know, I just know I have so many crazy thoughts in my mind at the same time.I am perservering though, I came home and got on the microphone and forgot about it all, and today I have worked 10 hours doing VO work...so it kept me pre occupied, and I am thankful for my life! Screw you cancer you are not going to win me over!!
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