Another visit to the therapist.....after all the trauma of cancer, the ups and downs of married life, the wacked out arena in Radio, that dirty little dysfunctional mental habit of mine exists.....judging myself and my every thought. Just when I think something-anything-I judge myself on the thought. What a cycle.....you'd think with looking death in the eye not once, but twice I'd have it all together...ha! So it goes....my way of operating in my life.
It's a one minute at a time approach for me I guess.
The therapist is amazed at how hard I am on myself. I stand up for myself, finally, and I immediately worry that I caused more trouble...what the hell is that all about? So my assignment for the week is to not judge myself when I have decided to speak up and protect myself-for when I do, I cannot be aware of my enlightenment.
It all sounds like so much damn work, but then again it's time to really understand what it is like to be gentle to me and nurture me.
So in the meantime I can do what I do best....flip on the microphone and do what makes me feel good, do what validates what I have....my voice. Thank you God for that instrument.
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