I had a different blog but had to delete it , so I am starting over, I have to write, it is therapuetic...
Being diagnosed with cancer is absolutely life changing. I am only hoping my revelations and messages from God will stay with me, as I often wonder if that's why I had the disease in the first place....my stubborn ways of holding grudges. It's toxic. Yet I will tell you it really has been hereditary. The stories of my ancestors coming back and unloading on people they had grudges about are too numerous to mention. It can be laughed at, but it is startling.
When I survived my first diagnosis of uterine cancer in May...I thought I was really given a 2nd chance, it was time to make the wrongs, right in my life. The outpouring of love and prayers solidified my thoughts that there are many who are so selfless and giving, and it opened my eyes. On a solo walk on a Capitola beach I asked God what was his lesson he wanted me to learn..I heard the word...literally "Trust" It seemed so damn big and vague...it played a huge part in my life,the amount of distrust I had with men, bosses, people was horrible. I had to trust there will be a lesson in the diagnosis, the doctors, my outcome....my cancer was contained in my uterus...I was stage #1 and cancer free, or so I thought. I now have cancer again, this time colon cancer. There is where..... I need to remind myself trust, trust, trust......God has plans for me somewhere in this.
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