Everyday is a lesson

If there really is one gift out of having cancer it is the gift of new lessons. Lessons that are testing my character everyday. I woke up 2 days ago with this awful rash on the back of my upper thigh. It was horrible, so I went to the Derm this morning , as I can't deal with this.  I have to admit I mumbled the words..."am I dying here?" It was scary and not a thought I wanted to put much weight on. I am challenged everyday, and everyday I get some lightbulb moment that I hear God speak, whether it is through a person or if I am quiet enough, I hear him. The nurse at the dermatolgist office asked if  I was taking any medications...well yes, chemo. I told her why as I felt my eyes well up with tears. She had this incredible comforting smile and said to me "I know all too well what you are going through, my daugher at age 15 was diagnosed with a blood cancer, she endured 16 months of chemo and shots and everything else" I could only ask.."is she a survivor?" She replied: "Yes she is and she is now a nurse at UCSF in the intensive care unit" It was too much. Here was another angel with God speaking through her. It will be okay. I can do this, but the tears still flow so often, so many days.Yes they do and even on the days when I receive lessons.