The procedure is all done!

The anxiety approaching the colonoscopy was like a roller coaster. Put it out of mind often by doing what I do best, stay busy. The anxiety managed to creep up as I got closer. I did my required prep, which is just awful...I started gagging on my last 8 ounces and dumped half the liquid down the sink. The hell with it I thought....Adam was sitting in the next room. I saw him just put his head down and shake it in disbelief. I told him I was okay....as the minutes were ticking away at 7am in the morning. There he was at 17 years old watching me again go through the cancer journey. Annual checks will be my journey forever now...Adam dropped me off and there I walked down the long hallway and seated myself in the waiting room. I texted my closest buds and told them where I was. I needed positive thoughts in their minds. What if? I thought. What if the news isn't good? Just how will I handle it? I can't go through it all again. I won't. As they called me back I am greeted by this great looking male nurse...oh just great! He's going to be assisting the procedure?!?!I chuckled. Got myself dressed and they started the IV. I layed there for sometime taking deep breaths trying  to calm myself, I wasn't feeling sleepy. Is my anxiety so high it's interfering with the medication? The nurse said I was ready to go in...."Wait!" I said "I am not sedated yet, I need more medicine" he laughed....they don't administer the medicine until I am in the procedure room...so there I was being rolled into the room. The medical machines and screens all around me. "This is it, this is where it was all unveiled last year" I thought. Quickly the tears started welling up in my eyes and the tears dripped down my face and neck. I am scared. The team reassured me as they explained they will spray the inside of my throat with a numbing agent so they can also do an endoscopy on me. Photos of my stomach and photos of my colon. Double whammy.The spray was mighty, I was numb almost instantly. The IV was filled with my sedative and I went out. Within 30 minutes I was back in my room and there was the Doctor telling me it looked terrific. I was more than elated. I did it. I made it, I couldn't wait to see Adam to tell him. I told him over and over again I was the happiest I have been in a long time. I called Jeff....I walked into my home office studio, checked my VO jobs and got the mic ready. Did I really just do what I did and now I am moving on with my day...? It was somewhat crazy...but that's how I seem to handle so many things, it's nuts. So now I breathe a huge sigh of relief and can be grateful once again for my life and the people who always pull for me. They just don't realize what it means to me to have their thoughts and support.It means the world, really it does.  I know I am truly blessed. The procedure is all done. Damn I am so happy.