I sound like a broken record

I know I sound like a broken record, but I am glad I am here...it keeps surfacing as I run around during this insane holiday season. I keep thinking..."damn last year at this time my body was wrecked havoc with chemo" -I was looking like hell more and more everyday, and now here I am a year later zipping all around town talking to myself worrying if I can afford anymore Christmas gifts and then the ah-ha moment hits me...I am alive. It happens constantly. Maybe it's God talking to Me. Telling me to slow the hell down and really grasp this situation. It must be, because it gets my attention every single time it pops in my head.The smallest things...sending out my Christmas cards,....while sitting at the table sealing the envelopes, I realize I am here. I journeyed through cancer and chemo and all the bullcrap that comes with it....I can only hope this thought will ground me when i am ready to go off on someone who has ticked me off, or someone I choose to have a beef with...let's only hope. So I am closing for now and am going to do a little something else once again as part of the holiday frenzy to just confirm I am still here! It's all so wild to believe. It all still feels like it was a bad dream.