9 years later and it reared its ugly head again

So Cancer decided to visit Me again. 9 years later and I run scared again. 9 years later and the only thing that gets me through is prayer, friends positive words, and getting myself on the microphone. I frantically take care of all the business I need to do. I scramble to get my voice over work orders done, book myself out, all the while staring at the clock that tomorrow will be here and I will be under the knife again. What the hell is this all about? The flood of emotions is the same today as it was nine years ago.Angry, denial, fear, surrendering, disbelief. 9 years ago I am told I have uterine cancer. A full hysterectomy and a stage 1 diagnosis. I dodged the bullet, or so I thought. There sitting in my intestines was an ugly cancerous polyp. The surgeon saw it while I was under the knife. I heal, live with a new scar on my belly and think to myself this won't get Me, "I eat too well, I exercise, I am loving life". It didn't matter because the polyp that was removed was stage 3 Colon Cancer. WTF! My friends got Me through, they stepped up. Drove me to those grueling 6 months of chemo appointments, believed in Me, kept me from going to that dark place that we can go to when told we have cancer. I watched our son Adam fold. I learned later from a long talk with him that he felt he had to put the kid aside and be an adult, he didn't have time to go through that stage in his life. It broke my heart hearing this. This stupid disease wrecks havoc on everybody around Me. I live with endless side effects: numb feet, calves, and hands, lymphedema in my left leg, anxiety at every Doctor's appointment. Cancer you mean SOB, why do you visit Me again? It's that bargain with God again. Give me another chance, don't cut up my body again.let me continue my work, and as silly and laughable as it is....let me see Boz again, let Me see my son marry, have a child, let me feel normal. This is out of my control once again.I reflect on my life and think I did okay. I did what I loved in life. I'm okay. Yet I am numb. I stare at my words here and can't believe I am writing them again.What's the lesson? I can't figure it out. Maybe I am a lesson for others. Who knows. My mantra lives on, for some bizarre completely insane reason I know I am suppose to say :God thank you for my life today.

The 2019 Reflection on life and Voice Overs

I can't put my finger on it, but for many years I have not been all whipped up about New Years Eve and the year ahead. There is an underlying restless discontentment. I watch all the optimistic posts on Social Media and think "why can't I recite that mantra". The annual New Years Day ritual of journeying through my 2019 calendar and transferring all the dates and memories: "the 1 year ago, the 2 years ago to remember events" starts my mind thinking it IS all about gratitude. It is the only way to rise above the doubts and these restless feelings. So I journey through my calendar and I find many things to fill my heart with joy. Taking on Yoga classes Visits from dear friends and radio friends and showing them my ocean and mountain community Getting through Jeff's lung surgery and all the stress that surfaced Getting through another annual colonoscopy and cancer free First time state's visits: cattle farms, San Juan Bautista, Amador County, Glen Ellen Seeing the music I love: Boz, ColdBlood, Willie K, The Rhythm Vandals, Micheal Gaither, The Unauthorized Rolling Stones Attending a childhood friends son's wedding Attending Arlen's Memorial service Comforting those that endure the heartbreaking anniversary dates of their loved one's passing Hosting my sister in law from Georgia to treat her to her trip of a lifetime Making improvements on my Capitola condo Meeting brand new friends in my new mountain area Spending Christmas with our son and his girlfriends family and Voicing, still. No big bookings but being on the microphone to fill my heart's desire. My voice over career is a crapshoot, my life is a crapshoot. So after all the notations are made I realize life is what I make it. There's nothing more to it than that. Thank you God for my life today.

Voicing a script still adds joy to my challenging life

Is it Me or is it all voice actors who have been at it for so many years....a script doesn't come in and the thought is "What the hell is going on, uh oh!" It's so easy to personalize it all..."they must like younger voices now" "they have a young creative team that doesn't appreciate a trained voice" "that current commercial on Brand X voice talent totally sucks, I could've done better" The ups and downs of being a Voice Over talent. I really don't think I stand alone. Have I mentioned the voice talents that are on those pay to play sites, getting paid a quarter of what an Agent can get them and because they do a tagline for a small market for a huge product, they blast on Social Media that they "Have landed a National gig"...geez, what is it that irks Me in it all? It just plain and simple does. But then I check my email inbox and there sits a work order with a script. My day becomes complete! Read it over, add some commas, print it out and set it up in my portable booth in my personal studio. Label the file and hit RECORD. Oh the glory of the script that comes in.How it can change my day in an instant is amazing. I LOVE this craft. I still take classes periodically to get the feedback I need, and I still yearn to land that National with residuals before I die. What a dream come true that would be.It's been a long journey that I am so joyful I went after it. It always comes back to the same thought, thank God I did what I loved in my lifetime. My health has had it's challenges with my 2 cancer diagnosis, my first marriage was a horrible heartbreak filled with disillusions and a forever changed vision of love, my current marriage is one tough road to be part of, living with an explosive personality is so challenging, and still concerned about our 26 year old son's happiness and health, are daily distractions, but to walk into my room and find that script in that email can change it all in an instant. I take a deep breathe, close my eyes and think what my Agent said in a class one day..."always remember to appreciate the Voice Over opportunity, your style was one that they wanted, whether it's an audition, or the real deal booking the script". I guess I will never get this out of my blood, because damn it this voicing a script brings me all the joy I need. Thank you God for my life today.

Radio for Me was a Love Affair played out

It's no coincidence that my Radio career journey was like a true love affair: finding passion, chasing it, being loved in return, being dumped, and forced to reinvent myself each time. The excitement of the new gig was like a brand new relationship in it's early stages: excited beyond belief, determined to put my best foot forward, be loved in return and hope it lasts for a long,long time. Yet Radio broke my heart like a love affair gone bad. I managed to be on air in all genres of radio, and in the 4th largest market in the USA: San Francisco. Adult Contemporary, Album Rock, Shock Rock, Soft Rock, Urban Jazz, Smooth Jazz, News and Traffic and Nostalgia Standards Every ounce of passion was put into every gig I had. Yet, dealt with egotistical Program Directors who for the mere hell of it, decided they wanted someone different and blind sided Me with their break ups. I cried many a time the whole way home from work. I carried my box full of show prep up San Francisco city streets only to cry on my BART ride home. I would feel embarrassed and ashamed to have to say "I lost my gig". And my heart would only break further when someone would say "I don't hear you on the Radio, what happened?" Go to the movies by myself to cry in the theatre alone, walk to clear my head and journal to sort my thoughts. Yet,there was one gig that surprisingly became one of my favorites. For Lovers Only at KKIQ, triple casting on 3 stations at a station 10 minutes from my home. The ultimate love affair gig!Funny that it was a platform to feel love and heartache and silliness all through music. This gig ended as one of my worst break ups...10 minutes before going on the air, the Program Director said "we don't want the show anymore"...the same feeling when a lover blindsides you when it's time for them to move on. I managed to go on the air, and pull off the show, but when the clock struck midnight, I pulled off my headphones and wept in the studio alone. The worst break up ever. I have snippets of my shows from every genre, but the snip you will hear posted shows my love for my audience, for the music I picked, for the passion of Radio. Just a few classic calls, with added photos to celebrate love. And yes, when I listen and look at this it tugs at my heart strings just like any past love affair will do and to this very day years later I sit and cry. Yes, Radio was my love affair, I yes like a lost love, I will always keep it in my heart.

This is the house I brought our son home to, this was the house of 26 years

Today everything gets boxed up. I woke up at 5:40 am and opened my near empty closet and grabbed my robe. I headed down the stairs and into my office where piles of Radio and Voice Over binders are waiting to go into a box. I check my voice over work orders and remember I booked out because of tomorrows move. After 26 years I say good bye to our home. The sadness builds up inside of Me and I begin thinking: the moment we knew the Dublin house was it 1 1/2 years after marrying. Those French doors out to that beautiful huge backyard. The court where families barbque out front for 4th of July, and Labor Day, the great location to BART or commute into the city for my terrific Radio jobs. It was big for the 2 of Us but it was it. 1 1/2 years later baby Adam was brought home to this house. The huge tree in the backyard that shaded the lawn that we sat with Adam as a baby for months is now gone. The parties in the backyard were endless: Easter Egg hunts, baby showers, graduation parties, fire pit nights, entertaining family and friends.The inside went through its endless remodeling transformations and they all were worth every fight, dime and and time.The events associated with time living here are endless: Radio hiring's and Radio firings, Jeff's career job at EBMUD, deaths of our parents, recovering from cancer,Adams high school Football parties, deaths of friends far too young, raising a few cats and now a dog. It all happened in this house of 26 years. We now set our sights on the condo I bought decades ago, blocks from a beach. A place where I created earlier memories in my life. It is scary, it is exciting and it is so bittersweet. Tomorrow our sweet neighbors will bring the coffee over and pastries and send us off. We leave this home of 26 years, the home we brought our only son home to. This was a good house for 26 years,yet I am sad to say good bye.

Networking is non stop in the VO world mixed with everyday life

My journey in voice acting should be a movie. I actually have written a screenplay about it, my life, the ups and downs the triumphs and setbacks. If anybody thinks they can be successful at this voice acting business without marketing and networking, keep reading. When I first started out, after a year of VO classes, creating the demo, setting up my home studio, I started the networking journey. Cold calling was not fun, I was constantly faced with the "Huh?!" when I would ask for the Creative Team, Production department at any corporation or production facility. Trying to give my 30 second elevator speech: "Hello, I'm a voice actor with a home studio with classes taught by the Masters under my belt and a terrific booking record, I have a demo I would like to get to the right person, I also have a website, who can you direct me to?"...Silence...Me squirming and praying I have the in. It then is logged as a contact and the follow ups and networking now begins. I attended an Open House over the week end at Giraffe Space in Livermore. A cool visual concept created by 2 Producers I have voiced for. I knew it was the right thing to do to attend, though I was totally exhausted from prepping my house for a sale, living in a staged home for a week, and voicing in between the nails being pounded, painting being done and phone calls of endless appointments. The creators of Mitch Eason and Tito Hamze deserved to be honored as they used my voice talents for a few projects in the past. I drove on out and entered their space. There they were: Mitch- Multi Media Producer at Robert Half and Tito, who not only provided the food, the beverages and the tour, but reconnected Me with mutual colleagues! Jody Amos - Production, doing the sound, who I voiced an apartment complex tour, Jerry Pentin - Producer/Director who I voiced a few 30 second cable TV spots for, Chad Caines-Multi Media producer who I voiced the awards for the California Independent Film Festival, Steve Alt- Director Media Services at Robert Half who I have been reaching out to for years to get in that production studio door. There it was, all the hard work I have done to stay top of mind. Will it be a one time gig or will they hopefully be new gigs from reconnecting? I don't know. I do know it is so cool to know all these talented people and I know it was the right thing to do. So if you think you can sit back and hope the gigs come to you, I don't think it's true..It's allot of work, and perseverance and hope to land that next gig. I still love my craft and know networking is the right thing to do. Thanks guys for the gigs, I hope you know how much I appreciate them and you appreciating my talents

The only relief I find is voicing a script and singing to Sinatra

Where do I even begin? I was driving back from Pleasanton's Main Street which provided Me with a much needed stroll with my Olde English Bulldog, LugNut, when I popped a CD in my deck and Sinatra began to belt out "That's Life", I couldn't help but sing along.LOUD. This comes after, scurrying out of the house after voicing a few scripts, and making a phone call for a local hauling company to haul my huge out of date ET center away. After 26 years in one house, accomplished raising a good son who finished college and is ready to get out and yet can't find a reasonable rental, and a husband raging he can't take it anymore and turned in Retirement papers, we are moving to my condo in Capitola which is half the size. Don't get Me wrong I want to return to the beach for sure. In the past 48 hours we were told: my husband has an anuerysm below his kidney, needing risky surgery, the floors need to be refinished for $7,000, the furniture needs to be off the floor, I will have to book out of the studio - thus no voice over work, appointments are being booked for interior painting, landscaping and a 4 night stay at an Extended Stay Hotel along with the dog AND cranky cat. LugNut was then attacked by a Pittbull at the dog park with Jeff, Friday night, while I began to cry with a much needed meltdown. I have no other choice than to pull it together "and pick myself back up and get back in the race!" just as Frank belts out. Needless to say, I am overwhelmed, and to not buckle again I continue to say to myself "you've survived 2 cancers, you have friends dealing with cancer, other people are in horrible pain-look at the frickin' news, you can do this." But I chuckle because what brings Me solace is tackling a script and going the extra mile by editing some copy and pleasing the client only to receive a nice compliment like "appreciate your extra efforts Trish" I have no idea why God gives us so much to handle. Breathe deep is my mantra. Time to find a script to record, organize the garage more, and take a ride to hear Sinatra again. Yep that's what I need.