another middle of the night wake up

I have no idea what drug is making this happen to me...I wake up nightly and lay there for 2 hours thinking about what is going on in my life. Yesterday was Chemo number 7 and it was TOUGH! oh my gosh I was wiped, so tired, weak and drained. My platelets are down so next week it's 4 days in a row I need shots...this is so surreal...of course I conversed with a patient and he is in worse condition than me..stage 4 colon cancer...When the nurses asked him how his Christmas was and did he get all of his wishes..he replied "I have one wish, just to have 2 more years"...I looked away and started crying. I can't beleive whatI am hearing in this office...I have to change my attitude toward chemo...it is not my enemy, it is saving me..help me see this somebody.God please help me.