Keeping my chin up while Voice Acting

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Sitting through movie credits until the end ...

The beauty of being a voice actor and working from home is the scripts come in all day. Voice a few in the morning, step out to get the dog out for a little play, check the IPhone emails for new scripts and if there is a break once in awhile I can slip into a movie theater and see a movie. What I find happens here as I get myself settled and the trailers begin flashing on the screen, an overwhelming feeling in my heart and my stomach of wanting to have my "based on a true story screenplay" up there on that screen. That yearning of wanting to have my screenplay produced and that yearning of wanting to land the ultimate voice over gig, and that yearning of just wanting to feel success, tugs fiercely at my heartstrings. I sit through the movie relating to a character, I admire their terrific acting, I get the story. All the while feeling that feeling. I am seeing the movie because I know I can relate to that character in some way, for some reason, because it parallels an event in my life, somehow. There is always that scene that evokes tears, and it is there at that very moment that I almost feel as though I can't sit through this because the crazy desire is so huge! Who feels like this?!? It has to be every actor and actress that wants it so bad. The multitude of thoughts of "will I accomplish this goal before I die?" quickly transitioning into "be grateful for what you've done" then the bartering with God "please this week let me land the big voice over", it all stirs up from watching the movie. As the ending nears I keep thinking "what a great story" ...and then the movie ends. The credits start rolling and one by one people leave. I sit there scrolling all the names of those involved in producing the movie, I study the font, I enjoy the final song, and then sit through all the soundtrack with my eyes darting to the song title, who it was sung by, and hope I didn't miss the one song that grabbed me while watching the picture. I am left with the same feelings in the beginning sitting alone in the theater at the end. I slowly get up and walk up the aisle alone, soon blinded by the sun shining through the lobby.I immediately check my emails on my phone to see if a script came in. I hope there is an audition that I can tackle as soon as I get back to my little studio. The praying begins as I turn the key to my car and travel home, "Please let me book a big one" my mantra. There is no other way to redirect the overwhelming feelings other than choosing one of the most uplifting sing a long-able tunes I have in my music library, and it is then that I bottle up those feelings and just feel grateful I am doing what I love for my career and that I just treated myself to a wonderful movie that I saw from beginning to the movie credits end. Thank you God for my life today-smile.

La La Land, the Movie. I can so relate

After voicing a few spots this morning I made my dash through the stormy rain to see another Oscar nominated movie today. I have this goal to see as many as I can so when I watch the magical night I understand the winning moment the actor is feeling while on stage accepting that Oscar. I saw La La Land today. Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling.I didn't know what to expect, just heard the reviews but didn't know how I would embrace it after it all was over with. An aspiring actress,"Mia" and a dedicated jazz musician "Sebastian" pursuing their dreams in Hollywood. As the movie progressed I grew more and more attached to the story. I understood about all the auditions. I understood accepting the little gigs in hopes it's all part of the journey of paying my dues for the big gigs, I understood the tenacity and hope of never giving up my dream. When Sebastian comes back to encourage Mia to go for her biggest audition yet, and through tears she shared all her fear,it was then that I felt the huge lump in my throat,thinking I can relate! I thought of my many Radio and Voice Actor friends who want to just fulfill that dream, and how many rejections come with it all. I flashed on the endless times going to my mailbox and finding the form rejection letters about my Radio demo not what they were looking for, I flashed on when I was blind sided and told we can't keep you because you are associated with him, or when the PD called me in 2 weeks before Christmas and told me they were going in a new direction and to walk myself out quietly without saying good bye to my colleagues, and crying the whole way home on BART. Of all days to take public transportation, there I was with my box filled with all my accumulated show prep., or the PD that called me on the phone saying the full timers were going to voice track so he wouldn't need me, I could be on stand bye, (like that was going to pay bills!)or the most brutal axe: telling me 10 minutes before I was to go on the air "the show doesn't work", and then expected me to go live and full fill my host duties. He didn't know after my 4 hour show, I wept as soon as I turned off the mic and walked alone late at night to my car. Then my transitioning into voice overs, the training, the cold calls, the auditions with no bookings. Hearing a commercial ad I auditioned for on TV voiced by someone else. It all makes you scared. it makes you doubt your self worth, it makes you want it more, it makes you feel crazy for wanting it.The tears were streaming down my cheeks as I sat there and I wondered if anyone in that theater other than an actor would understand these emotions I was feeling. Then what really got me was Mia's (Emma) song in her ultimate audition, Her ode to the dreamers who chase their dreams,..."Here's to the ones who dream, foolish as they may seem. Here's to the hearts that break. Here's to the mess we make" I guess madness really is key to performing, but like the story ends, I'd do it all again.

Another birthday and all it's thoughts

After saying Happy Birthday to Jeff, who shares the same birthday as me (exact day! and year!), and he saying it back to Me upon waking, I woke up today and said to myself "how in the hell did I get to this age?"...And then I thought even more about it, as I stumbled into the bathroom and looked in the mirror and stared at my face. If I was going to face another birthday I may as well look good, so I immediately showered, and did my hair, applied a little make up and started thinking...I know what I did in these years to get here today....I married twice, I had over 12 Radio jobs, I made so many dear friends, I laid my Mom and my Dad to rest, I traveled Europe, the USA, bought myself a Condo near the beach, I started my voice over career, bought a few cars, had some very lows in life and some very highs, and I survived cancer not once but twice. Oh yea and I stopped at that thought...I really could not have even been here from those 2 cancers, they were serious and not to be messed with. So I beat those odds and here I was having another birthday and still grumpy about it. As I was finishing up styling my hair, I heard the phone ring from downstairs. Jeff answered it and went out back to the patio and said "Hey Addie, oh thank you, how nice of you to call"...then I knew this is why I am still here today. A phone call from my son to wish Me Happy Birthday. That is why, and then I peek into my office and see a few voice over project orders on the computer , and I think that is why I am here too, and last but not least, I take a peek into my Facebook page, and there were hundreds of well wishers. Some with the nicest words, and some just a pop in wish. My heart was warm and I knew then it's a good day to be alive.So the laughing little girl from many birthdays ago is now a big girl and can realize it's the littlest things that can keep me living and I am grateful for every single one of them and today is a good birthday to celebrate.

Sully's mindset when I met Him

Being in radio as a deejay has given me the opportunity to meet some very incredible people...of course there was Boz. Not that it was a radio event, but I could quickly pitch in my 30 second elevator speech, "that all formats I worked at in radio we played one of his songs"-at least it gave me some credibility in those brief moments that I will savor forever! , lol, But then there was Kenny Loggins, Tony Bennett, Smokey Robinson, David Sanborn, Dionne Warwick, Anne Murray, the band Chicago, Ray Parker, Sports figures, Rock n Roll musicians, and then there was Sully. Captain Sully, the miracle on the Hudson airline pilot.
I was emceeing a concert at a local venue in Danville. The opportunity dropped in my lap because I had worked with Jim at Primetime Entertainment when I emceed for a KKSF gig. He offered me the summer concert series to emcee at Blackhawk Plaza. A bit nervous, as this is not the Radio booth, this is upfront and in front of everyone, so I strolled around the plaza killing some time before I was to take the stage. I looked across the atrium and there was Sully. I was a bit star struck, I thought how terrific to see him there and approached him for a photo. What a sweet gentleman he was, as he obliged. But his wife stopped Me for a moment and asked what I was doing with the photo. I explained to her I was emceeing and it is always so fun to collect photos of my events, and I might post it on Facebook, she accepted my answer and there we posed. Of course I proudly displayed it on Facebook and received hundreds of likes, and I thought how cool it was that little 'ol Me had that opportunity. Now we have a big screen movie out on Sully- the ever so talented Tom Hanks playing him. (Academy Award material in my opinion) I of course waited for release date and again posted my photo on my Facebook page with Sully, the "likes" came rolling in once again. I knew I had to see this movie, and so I set out to do so today. What happened to Me while watching the movie was a complete surprise. The overwhelming emotion of sadness came over Me within the first 30 seconds of the movie. I couldn't believe the tears streaming down my face, and how my chest hurt and my whole body felt so heavy while sitting there, I quickly calculated when was it that I posed with Sully- it was during the NTSB interrogations. I realized I was clueless as I stood there with him at the plaza that day in July. I realized, as he was our hero, he was tormented, yet I didn't know, I had no idea what this gentle man had endured. What his wife endured, his daughters. Here I was so giddy with being able to brag about my meeting and there Sully was processing all that had reoccured that day back in January 2009, how silly of Me, I can only hope he is at peace with his heroic act, and I can only hope I know in the future when meeting one of my stars I reflect on where they are at in that moment of their life. Radio has given me many opportunities, but this one was the best gift ever. Dang, Sweet Sully, always a hero.

Watch a video about cancer and I cry like a baby

I just viewed the sweetest video about a teacher who has cancer and her kids in the school choir singing :I'm gonna love you through it". Tears streamed down my face as I watched that. Anybody would cry over it, but being a cancer survivor, it brought me right back to it all. The overwhelming emotions that navigate one through the day are endless. You go about the day showering, driving, working and running errands and the whole time in your mind the voice is heard in your head "I have cancer!". It never leaves you. It's an amazing journey. It's a constant battle of fighting it and then cursing it. It has been 5 years for me and the tears and emotions are just as raw. I am reminded daily of it, as I put on my ugly ass compression stocking with my leg wanting to swell because of the removed lymph nodes from my first cancer, uterine cancer, I mutter "fuck you cancer", then I immediately think, "get on with your day, get over it", How one can go from one extreme emotion to the next is crazy. Don't get me wrong I have those very common gratitude thoughts also of "it could be worse" reminding me of the other evening catching a commercial on TV of Olympians who have lost their legs,as I lay on the couch with my legs tingling from nueropathy and feeling sorry for myself and my thought goes to after viewing it "well at least I have legs" Maybe cancer can be looked at as a gift. Maybe my friend was right years ago who said that to Me "one day you'll thank your cancer". Maybe the fact that our emotions shift so quickly from dispair to gratitude, that is cancer's gift. I am currently talking a sweet radio colleague through her cancer journey now. I know the fear, each appointment is so scary because the Doctors and Nurses are doing things to our bodies that we have no control over and yet everybody around us is cheering us on because they are scared for us. Please understand there are days where the cancer patient just wants to weep and feel sorry for ourselves. Let us do it, please let us do it. To have tears so real and raw so many years later only confirms how mind boggling being a cancer patient is. As my cancer surviving friend Cindy told me, "remember the daily mantra, thank you God for my life today", what else can I do?

And how much money can a voice talent make?

So here's the deal. I LOVE performing voice over work. Love, love, love it. I transitioned as a Radio deejay into the field of voice acting. I was comfortable in front of a microphone, and I can market myself pretty well. I didn't get into it to be worth allot of money, but I did think what a terrific way to make a living. I took a year of classes, and follow up classes, and I had one of the best producers out there produce my demo. I built a home studio. I cold called corporations, and local production companies, and I did get an Agent. But the Agent I couldn't just rely on, because I am up against some incredible talent that keeps booking the gigs. I freelance. I follow leads constantly, I meet people daily and tell them about my work, ask them if they could ever use a voice talent in their marketing strategies.What have I made annually? Let's just say I have to rely on my husbands salary to get me through. Let's just say if I was on my own, it would be smoothies for breakfast, a sandwich for lunch and a salad for dinner and maybe a scoop of yogurt from the yogurt shop for a treat to myself. It would be creatively finding free means of entertainment, activities, and all the while feeling grateful everyday that I am doing what I love for an income. I won't give up. I have a dream, a dream that I will land the National through my Agent, and then I can proudly claim the income and float above water as long as the residuals are coming through. But damn I work hard for this income. It is a passion.Sometimes I feel extremely defeated. Sometimes I want to crawl in a hole and throw my hands up-but there is this determination that I will do this. I will book the biggie. This is one helluva challenge, I sacrifice allot to stay grounded in this, but as my long time ago mentor said to me, "Trish I practice one mantra constantly, and it is 'I might be down, but I won't give up".I have to resurrect the mantra. Thank you from the bottom of my heart Ed, for that saying.