National Colon Cancer Day March 3rd

Been quite some time since I have blogged. Saw the date on my iphone calendar "National Colon Cancer Day March 3rd". I guess I put it in my phone to remind Me. Looking at it, I am flooded with different thoughts. Something to acknowledge, something I'd like to forget. A diagnosis that rocked my whole world. A diagnosis that changed my life forever. Since 2010 I am still navigating this disease.I had a reoccurance in 2020, thank GOD no lymph nodes that time around were involved. The side effects of numb feet and calves, fingers and a permanantly swollen left leg due to lymph nodes removal and chemo infusions all still prevail. The effect it had on my son breaks my heart still.I have lost many to cancer, and I know a few right now who are battling the beast that it is. Their diagnosis always spins Me. Anger, Compassion, Guilt for living, Wanting to scream about it. The emotion feels like a bubbling wave of energy inside Me. Sometimes I seriously want to end it all.It truly is crazy making. Why in the hell they have not found a cure for all cancers is sickening to Me. I think there is, I think there is a disturbing reason why they don't. It's moments like these that it is imperative for Me to shut off the mind chatter, stop the blog writing and distract until I can shake the thoughts. I have opened a can of worms in my mind right now. March 3rd will haunt Me all day,I am overwhelmed with sadness for those who I know who are battling the disease now. I have to only do one thing. Practice the mantra I recited every morning and night while going through chemotherapy: Thank you God for my life today.