After all these months going through cancer and all the drama and emotions with it, I finally decided to talk to a therapist. The lump in my throat describing it all to him confirmed I am still traumatized by it all. What is true is it does get less as time passes. I realize getting all worked up is not a positive place to go to...and then he says one of those classic soft spoken therapist lines..."observe the awareness" Hm-m-m-m? The awareness that I am aware it's not healthy to be in all the hysteria. Wow, imagine that. I am actually beginning to step away briefly and see myself and what I am doing. I hope in time I can really move forward and not hold onto this as this horrible experience in my life. Something tells me I will.
To observe our awareness in any given situation is a confirmation of emotional growth. Maybe I am not the same screwed up girl I was years ago. I have matured....finally. It is all good, and it is all part of life and all it's many opportunituies for lessons...Maybe I can pass this along to my son Adam...I'd love to spare him all the drama that life can bring and all the wacked out ways I deal with lifes challenges.I've probably already messed him up.......lightbulb!....Observe the Awareness.
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